<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>If You Give Me One Last Try by rocksalts</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27152666">If You Give Me One Last Try</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocksalts/pseuds/rocksalts'>rocksalts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Suptober20 [21]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Angels &amp; Demons, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Fallen Angel Dean Winchester, Fear of Flying, First Meetings, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:52:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,105</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27152666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocksalts/pseuds/rocksalts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean remembers falling, and he remembers his reasons for doing so. He's fine with living the rest of his life on earth, but Castiel thinks otherwise.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Suptober20 [21]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1977244</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If You Give Me One Last Try</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>suptober20 day 21 prompt: fear (ficlet) | destiel au | ~1k words</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean had only ever used his wings once in his life.</p>
<p>He had been young, about the age when most angels started flying. His mother was there, guiding him—or, trying to—with her beautiful big white wings spread to show him how she did it. The mechanics of it all, <i>that</i> was something Dean could understand. It was getting up in the air that was the hard part.</p>
<p>Why?</p>
<p>Because Dean was afraid of falling.</p>
<p>It was the most ridiculous thing anyone had ever heard of. They lived in <i>heaven</i>, for the love of God (literally), and flying was just part of the deal. Flying got you into every occupation, every field, and to anywhere in the world.</p>
<p>But Dean just…couldn’t. Couldn’t get over his fear, couldn’t get over even the shortest ambrosia tree. He was useless.</p>
<p>Dean regained this memory the first time he heard their voices.</p>
<p>Initially it had been like an itch Dean couldn’t scratch. And boy, was that annoying as all hell.</p>
<p>The voices were faint, but they were <i>there</i>, and Dean understood every word even though it definitely wasn’t english, and they didn’t sound like normal voices. More like…sounds. Rhythms.  </p>
<p>This didn’t happen all the time. It started off being every once in a while, and it was inconvenient, sure, but manageable. But then it had gotten worse.</p>
<p>Considerably worse.</p>
<p>Dean shifted in his seat. He could hear them now, chattering away about something or the other. He could pick out a few words, like “fallen” and “save” and—</p>
<p>He shot up out of his chair, surprising the doctor so much that she jerked her coffee cup, brown liquid steaming over her hand and desk.</p>
<p>“Sorry!” He mumbled, escaping out of the room, “Important!”</p>
<p>“Dean, we have to talk about this!” she called after him, but he was already down the hall, sliding to a halt when he came upon his room.</p>
<p>Dean stepped inside and shut the door. He leaned his back against it for a moment and closed his eyes, heart hammering.</p>
<p>The voice that he’d heard. It’d said—</p>
<p>“Dean Winchester.”</p>
<p>Dean flinched, more forcefully than the Doctor had just a minute ago, and had a fleeting thought that if there was coffee in his hands in that moment, it would now be spilled everywhere.</p>
<p>He was staring at the man in his room, whose eyes were pinned to Dean like a target. If he had the space to, Dean would have taken a step back.</p>
<p>“That’s me,” he said instead.</p>
<p>The guy walked towards him until there was little space between them.</p>
<p>“Uh….who are you?”</p>
<p>Blue eyes, Dean noted. They were kind of all he could stare at.</p>
<p>“Castiel.”</p>
<p>Blunt, for one. Dean let out a breath.</p>
<p>“Okay, <i>what</i> are you, then?”</p>
<p>He was pretty sure he knew the answer to that.</p>
<p>Castiel tilted his head, “I am an angel of the Lord… So are you.”</p>
<p>Dean gathered up his nerve to push past Castiel and further into the room, turning to face him again. Dean’s stare was icy.</p>
<p>“Maybe I was. Not anymore.”</p>
<p>Castiel stepped forward. “Dean, Heaven is…” he looked away, gathering his thoughts.</p>
<p>“Heaven needs you to come home.”</p>
<p>Dean coughed out a laugh.</p>
<p>“Oh, do they? So, what? So that I can stand around all day, watching everyone else fight and protect? No, I–I’m good here. I have a <i>life</i> here. I—”</p>
<p>He rubbed a hand over his face. He <i>had</i> a life here. Up until a year ago, when he was thrown into this dump for being a “liability” at his job. Dean knew it wasn’t the same, knew Castiel knew it too.</p>
<p>He let his hand fall.</p>
<p>“I can’t even fly.” Was all he managed.</p>
<p>“Dean.” Castiel’s voice was firm. “That has never stopped you before. What <i>happened</i> to you? You once commanded armies, you were Michael’s right hand. I heard <i>stories</i> of you. And then—”</p>
<p>Dean frowned. The angel seemed frustrated. Angry, almost. Dean was sure they’d never met before.</p>
<p>“And then you fell. You fell, and we became…ruined. When I say that we need you, I don’t mean to flatter you. I’m merely stating a fact. We <i>need</i> you to come back. The war hasn’t ended just because of what happened to you.”</p>
<p>Dean curled his hand into a fist.</p>
<p>“What <i>happened</i> to me was I couldn’t protect the ones I love most. I couldn’t even <i>get</i> to Sam, because why? Because I was <i>scared</i>. I was a <i>coward</i>. And sure, he survived, but me staying there was just another burden. For everyone.”</p>
<p>He’d remembered it a few months ago—the demons, the knights of hell attacking his brother somewhere Dean just couldn’t reach. The fear that had pulsed through him with every heartbeat.</p>
<p>Castiel was shaking his head.</p>
<p>“They are under the impression that you abandoned us, Dean. I’ve…I’ve gone against my orders to get you back.”</p>
<p>Against orders? Dean reevaluated him. Castiel was wearing a suit and coat, but he obviously had the air of a soldier about him. He wasn’t just any angel, if he was risking everything to be here.</p>
<p>“Why?” Dean asked.</p>
<p>“Because I….sympathize with you.”</p>
<p>“You sympathize.” Dean raised an eyebrow. Castiel had never met him before now. How in the world could he “sympathize?” Angels…angels didn’t sympathize. They followed orders and gave commands. There wasn’t time for sympathy or understanding. Not in Heaven.</p>
<p>Castiel sighed, and spoke softly. “I can understand the appeal of…dissenting. Of coming to earth. Sometimes…sometimes staying is more difficult than leaving. Angels like you, Dean—Angels that push past fear and setbacks and keep soldiering on, they are the reason I stay. So you must come back. If not for them, then for me.”</p>
<p>Dean stared again. Not at the vessel, but at the angel within it. An angel going against orders, going against what he believed in, for <i>him</i>. For Dean. For a reason to stay in a place where staying was the hardest thing you could do.</p>
<p>“I don’t have my grace anymore,” Dean said.</p>
<p>“Your grace can be restored.”</p>
<p>“I can’t fly,” he said again. A feeble attempt, but an attempt nonetheless. Dean’s last chance to stay here, even if his life here meant nothing anymore.</p>
<p>Castiel straightened more, if that was even possible, and leveled Dean with a resolute gaze.</p>
<p>“Then I will teach you,” Castiel said, “If you just give this one last chance.”</p>
<p>Dean swallowed hard. He could do that. For Sam, for himself...for the angel standing in front of him.</p>
<p>“Okay,” his voice wavered. “I will learn to fly.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey!! let me know if you enjoyed!! <br/>tumblr: @rambleoncas (I'll post my prompts on there first for the rest of suptober)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>